


Homecoming

by imawarlock



Series: Eruri Week 2014 [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Actual Old Man Levi, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Declarations Of Love, Description of Sickness, Ghosts, M/M, Post-Canon, Reunion Sex, mentions of past character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 07:57:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3126980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imawarlock/pseuds/imawarlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Levi, it seemed, death was not the end. Would he be able to find Erwin again?</p>
<p>(For Eruri Week Day Six: Reunion)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> My day four and five fills can be found [here](http://goddamnchou.tumblr.com/post/107137493600/the-suit) and [here](http://goddamnchou.tumblr.com/post/107243448140/solace-separation). 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Kudos and Comments are appreciated <3

Levi did not get sick often. Once a year, maybe less, and it was always only a minor cold. Before, he just thought he was lucky. Now, he thought perhaps it had something to do with his family, because Mikasa was the same, no - even better than him. In all of their 30 odd years of living together, he did not think he had seen her get sick once.

During one particularly cold winter, though, he came down with an illness more severe than the ones he usually had. He was beset by chills and diarrhea, a runny nose, and a fever that wouldn’t go away. He felt like shit, and despite his reluctance to see a doctor, Mikasa called for one anyway. After a quick examination, the doctor told him it was a minor case of what they called the flu - a sickness that often went around this time of year - and that it would go away in a few days.

However, it didn’t go away. Some of his symptoms did, like the diarrhea and runny nose, but his fever and chills got worse and he developed a rattling cough. It wasn't just the flu, he could tell, it was something worse. It felt more severe and he didn’t know why, but by the time his chest started aching and he began experiencing shortness of breath he knew he wasn't going to get better.

He hid it from Mikasa as best as he could, though, because he wasn't particularly worried about it and he didn't want her to be either or to call the doctor again. He had lived a full life by now, he thought, over 30 years free of the titan's reign where he had done whatever he wanted. He was an old man now, his joints aching all the time and his memory not as great as it used to be. He knew all of that would only get worse, and he was pretty sure before long he wouldn't even be able to fucking wipe himself anymore after taking a shit. He'd rather be dead than live to see that humiliating day, so if this illness was destined to take him out, then so be it.

Besides, he had decided a long time ago that he was tired of living without him anyway.

Just like he thought he would, he got progressively sicker over the next two days, the ache in his chest growing worse along with his deep cough. On the morning that he awoke hacking up bloody mucus, the effort of getting out of bed left him so short of breath that he almost passed out. He sat back onto it, shaking from his persistent chill and gasping for air, clutching his sides while he coughed so hard and uncontrollably that the pain in his chest was near unbearable.

He knew there was no way he could keep hiding it now, and sure enough, a few minutes later he heard a knock on his door before it opened and Mikasa peeked her head in.

"Captain." She murmured quietly, because she still stubbornly refused to call him anything else even after all these years.

"What-" Levi coughed, hiding the bloody handkerchief he'd been covering his mouth with. "What is it, Ackerman?"

"I brought you some tea." She said, silently walking into his room and placing it next to his bed. She hovered for a moment, giving him a look he knew all too well by now, one that said she was seeing right through his shit. "You aren't getting better."

"Give it a few more days. I probably just need more rest. I cleaned too much yesterday."

He said dismissively, straightening up and trying not to show how dizzy he felt from what was probably a lack of oxygen.

She looked like she wanted to argue, but she didn't, setting her mouth in a thin line and leaving him alone. He drank his tea and felt a little better later, managing to get a few easy chores done that day, waiting until Mikasa was outside in the garden so she wouldn't hear him coughing or struggling for breath.

The next day, however, he was too weak to even get out of bed. Mikasa waited until mid-morning to check on him, walking in with another cup of tea.

"You're getting worse, Captain. I’m going into town to get the doctor.”

“I don’t need the shitty doctor. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

“You’re being stubborn."

"I don’t care. Just let me be, Ackerman."

His tone was filled with resignation despite his best effort to hide that in front of her, but he was almost too weak to keep up the facade. Mikasa looked at him for a long while after he said that, studying him in the quiet way that she did before speaking.

"Do you want to die?" She asked, her expression blank.

He was shivering with fever, racked with chills and burning up at the same time, his forehead drenched with sweat and coughing every other time he took a breath. He probably looked pathetic, but he still managed to scowl at Mikasa's question, setting his jaw stubbornly and pulling the blankets up to his chin.

He didn’t answer because he couldn’t say that to her and didn’t trust himself to lie, so she said nothing else, giving him one last knowing glance before she walked out of the room and closed the door quietly behind her.

Levi left his tea untouched after she was gone, too weak to even sit up enough to drink it. He just stayed in bed and fell back asleep, waking up every so often with a start to struggle for air because he couldn’t breathe. Sometime after that his fever must have gotten worse because he lost track of time, going in and out of consciousness and almost delirious. He thought he was vaguely aware of Mikasa checking on him a few times, and woke up once to find a glass of water next to his bed and another time with a cool, wet rag on his forehead.

The next time he cracked his eyes open he thought it must be night, because of how dark it was except for a few dimly lit oil lamps. He felt like he was burning up, on fire, yet somehow almost violently shaking with a chill. Was he still in their house? He couldn’t tell because everything was spinning and blurry, and he suddenly started coughing so hard he couldn’t stop, black spots dancing before his eyes. When he finally managed to get himself under control he was gasping for breath, wheezing with the effort but still feeling like he was barely getting any air in at all.

He chest ached so badly he felt like he’d been stepped on by a titan, and through his dizziness he vaguely thought he felt someone wiping his mouth with a handkerchief, but he wasn’t sure until a fresh, cool rag was suddenly placed on his forehead gently.

“Erwin...” He looked over and gasped, thinking it was him, swearing he could see his tall, handsome silhouette sitting next to his bed. He reached out, brows drawn, just the effort of lifting his arm almost too much for him.

“No.” A voice said, one that was much too high to be Erwin’s, and he blinked. “Its me. Mikasa.”

“Tch. Ackerman.” Levi ground out, realization, disappointment, and embarrassment rushing through him all at the same time. His vision focused and he could see her now, sitting in a chair next to his bed. He thought her eyes looked watery but he wasn’t sure, and after a moment his head lolled to the side, away from her, but he tightened his fingers around hers when she gingerly took his hand before he drifted off once more.

When he woke up again  it was daylight out. He was no better, still feeling sweaty and feverish and out of it, barely realizing that Mikasa was pouring water into his mouth. Every breath was still a struggle, and all he could do was lie there and weakly cough while she took care of him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had the thought that he’d probably pissed himself by now, and wished this damn sickness would decide whether it was going to take him or not. He was sure it would - he could barely breathe as it was, and eventually he wouldn’t be able to at all if it kept getting worse, right?

The next morning, though, he opened his eyes, feeling well rested. He sat up and stretched, yawning before he climbed out of bed. By the amount of light in the room, he figured it must be almost noon, and cursed himself. How the fuck had he slept so long?

Opening his door, he padded into the kitchen, wondering what Mikasa was doing. Usually by now she was out in the garden, pulling weeds and tending to the vegetables. That meant Levi was behind on his own daily chores, and he was going to have to rush if he wanted to catch up in time for him to cook them dinner. It was his turn, right?

The two former soldiers had an easy relationship, probably because they were so alike. It had taken a while for Mikasa to warm up to him, but she seemed to dislike him a little less after they found out they were distantly related. Although he knew she would never admit it to him, he thought she placed a high priority on family, and after the titan threat was ended and Erwin and Eren were gone, she’d shown up on his doorstep one night exactly a year later and never left.

Levi didn’t mind her company. In fact, he found that she was more than tolerable, and in truth, he was glad not to be alone. Mikasa was quiet, he learned, not because she was shy, but because she didn’t seem to give a shit what he did as long as it didn’t affect her. She liked doing house chores like he did, and Levi taught her how to cook. She never married and neither did he, and together, they both earned more than enough pension so that they would never have to work.

Levi kept up their house while she gardened and took care of the errands in town, and eventually, thirty years passed by like that. Their routine was so set that when Levi walked in the kitchen, he was surprised to find Mikasa standing with her back to him at the sink, washing something in it and looking out the window.

“Why aren’t you in the garden?” He asked, only to be met with silence.

He frowned, raising an eyebrow. “Hey, Ackerman.”

Still, she ignored him - no, it was like she didn’t even realize he was in the room.

“Mikasa!” He said, loudly this time at the top of his voice, watching as she continued to silently wash whatever she had in the sink. He walked over, confused and becoming irritated, and reached out to touch her.

He meant to grab her, expecting to feel the firmness of her shoulder underneath her clothes, the scratchy feeling of the cloth against his skin. However, when his fingers reached her back he felt nothing, and watched in horror as his entire hand went right through her.

“What the fuck?” He uttered, a harsh shock erupting through him. He tried again only to have the same result, looking at his hand afterward with confusion and fear. What the hell was going on? Was he dreaming? Nothing about her had changed when he’d tried to touch her - he’d just floated right through, like he was invisible or something.

At about that time, Mikasa dried her hands, turning around suddenly to face him. Levi froze, staring into her eyes - eyes that were red-rimmed, watery, and focused not on him, but on the doorway behind him. She had obviously been crying, and she took a step, walking straight through him like he didn’t even exist.

“Mikasa!” He said again, voice on the edge of panic, anger and anxiety flooding through him because he didn’t know what the fuck was happening. He followed her as she walked out of the kitchen and down the hall, retracing the path to his bedroom that he’d just taken to get there.

When she entered the room and walked towards his bed, his gaze followed her, landing on what was lying on it. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening and his mouth opening, another flash of pure panic and horror twisting in his stomach at what he saw.

It was him, or rather, his body. He was dead, he knew instantly, everything suddenly coming back to him. He’d been sick, that was right. He’d had the flu but it had gotten worse, giving him a cough that slowly took away his ability to breathe. He’d refused to see the doctor again because he hadn’t seen the point, and the last thing he remembered was Mikasa giving him a drink of water in bed. So he had died, then. But if he was dead, how was he standing here now? Was he a ghost?

Levi looked down at his hands again and then patted himself, feeling solid, but cold and without a pulse. That had to be the only explanation, since he was standing outside himself and Mikasa obviously could not see or hear him.

His body was lying on his stomach under a mound of blankets, pieces of his hair stuck to his forehead from dried sweat. He looked like shit - deathly pale with dark purple circles under his eyes, his lips dry and cracked with blood staining the corners of his mouth. While he watched, Mikasa rolled him over, his limbs landing awkwardly as he was made to lie on his back. His right arm, which had been tucked under his pillow, ended in a tight fist, but when she readjusted him it flopped over on its own and ended up hanging off the bed. He obviously hadn’t been dead long enough for his muscles to get stiff like corpses did, and his fingers opened, a flash of something falling out of his palm before it hit the floor.

Levi heard the sound and so did Mikasa, the unexpected noise catching her attention. She bent down, blocking his view of whatever it was, so he took a few steps forward just in time to see her picking up Erwin’s bolo tie off the floor.

Of course, Levi thought, remembering with another painful twist of his stomach. He’d taken it after Erwin had...after he’d died and they had to leave his body. He’d kept it ever since then, tucked underneath the mattress of his bed in the corner. He must have reached underneath it at some point in his delirium before he died to grab it, holding it in his hand as if searching for some kind of comfort.

Mikasa was staring down at it, and he saw her run a thumb over the green stone. She was crying visibly now, two twin tears trailing down her cheeks, and he knew exactly what she must be thinking about.

Although they had never discussed it, he knew she had some kind of love for Jaeger whether it was romantic or not, and he didn’t doubt that she knew, or at least suspected, about himself and Erwin. If she didn’t before she certainly did now, now that she’d found him clutching the only thing Levi had left of him thirty years later on his deathbed. Besides, she still kept her ratty black scarf tucked away in her room for what he assumed was similar reasons, and he knew that was why she never married or saw anyone else.

He knew she was the same as him, having lost the person who meant the most to her, knowing that there was nothing or no one else in the world that could replace him. That was how he felt about Erwin, and why he hadn’t ever even bothered to find someone else. All he could do was try to ease the emptiness, try to distract himself from the longing and loneliness that ate away at him every night.

It was another reason he hadn’t minded Mikasa moving in with him. She helped and gave him company, and as he watched her, he suddenly had another realization. Levi was dead, and now she was alone. It made him feel terrible, especially since he had basically wanted this, had wanted an end to the painful void in his heart that had never disappeared once Erwin had left him.

He felt selfish, suddenly, and a stab of pity, although he knew she would never want him to feel that. There was nothing he could do about any of it now, though, and there was no way to comfort her. It nearly broke his heart all over again, but watching her slip the bolo tie back into his hand, closing his fist around it and resuming her task, he felt sick, and didn’t think he could stay to see what she was going to do with his body.

So he left, running out of the house and down the dirt path that led to it, all the way until he reached their town. It had been nearly a year since he’d gone here, and he was surprised to see how much it had grown. It was loud and bustling, but of course, no one could see him. Standing in the middle of a crowd, basically invisible, his breath oddly even although he’d ran here at full speed - that was when everything hit him.

He was dead, fucking dead, and he was a ghost, aware of it. That wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. He’d wanted to die because he’d thought everything would end, that he would be able to rest and just, well, be gone. But he wasn’t, he was still here, along with all of his thoughts and feelings and memories. And now, if no one could see him, he was completely and utterly alone. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Was he going to stay like this forever? Did this shit happen to everyone after they died?

Thinking about that made his eyes widen, and he remembered the bolo tie in Mikasa’s hand. Erwin had been dead for so long - decades - but what if he had become a ghost too? Was he like Levi, invisible to everyone, just wandering around on his own? If he was, if there was any chance that Levi would be able to see his face one more time, he had to find him.

With that thought in mind, he set off towards the other edge of town, heading northeast towards the walls. He’d moved into one of the new settlements humanity had established outside after the titans were gone, seeing no reason for why he should remain inside them with the piss smelling air. But all the places he could think of to look for Erwin were all there, and as much as he despised it still, he was going to have to go back.

It took him four days to reach Wall Maria on foot, but somehow he never grew hungry, thirsty, or even tired. With no reason to stop, he just kept walking, inside the wall and through Shiganshina which had since been rebuilt. He walked to Wall Rose, to Trost, and to the Survey Corps old offices there.

This was the first place he’d thought of to look for Erwin, but they had since been turned into a bakery, one that was busy and filled with people but had no sign of any ghosts. Next he tried the house he and Erwin often stayed in when they were here - the one he liked to think of as theirs, even if it had never been official - but only found a family of three living in it instead.

After that and combing over the rest of the city while he was there, he could only think of one other place to try: the isolated castle that they had all briefly moved into after they had taken custody of Eren. He walked the rest of the night and all the next day, and by the time reached it and walked up the familiar path the sun was going down. The area was quiet and empty, the woods and fields around it overgrown and filled with weeds. Remnants of their stay were still outside, too, and it was obvious that no one else had been here to reuse this place since they’d abandoned it.

He made his way inside slowly, looking around at everything and remembering the last time he had been here, walking down the empty corridors and into the courtyard, then finally across it and towards the staircase that he knew led to the floor where Erwin’s offices had been. As he climbed them, he suddenly felt a rapid pounding in his chest that nearly stopped him in his tracks. It was his heart, beating again after nearly a week of silence.

It was a strange sensation, and although he wondered why it had started up again now, he didn’t stop. It only grew faster the closer he got to Erwin’s office, however, hammering so hard by the time he was standing in front of the closed door that it was echoing in his ears. He felt nervous, like there were butterflies in his stomach, an anxious feeling inside of him that grew out of the hope he had for Erwin to be in there.

He thought that it was probably stupid to feel that way, because the chances of him actually finding Erwin seemed slim to none. He was only setting himself up for disappointment, but it was like he’d said before: if there was any chance, any possibility that he could see Erwin again, he would take it. Besides, he had come all this way, too, so he steeled himself, wrapping his fingers around the door handle and twisting, flinging it open quickly and taking a step through.

He stopped immediately with a harsh gasp and stared in awe at what he saw, barely believing it as his eyes swept across the room and landed on Erwin’s figure, seated at his desk and dressed in his uniform, reading papers and looking exactly the same as he had the last time Levi had seen him alive.

He looked up when the door opened, his eyes going visibly wide even from yards away, staring at Levi with the most shocked expression he had ever seen on his face. For a moment they just looked at each other, gaping and speechless, the silence stretching long enough for Levi to wonder if Erwin was even real. He had hoped, of course, but had he ever really actually believed he would find him?

Here he was, though, looking perfect and young and alive even though Levi knew better, his blue eyes focused on him as if he could see him too.

“Erwin?” Levi finally managed to utter, his tone shaky.

Erwin put down the papers he was holding at the sound of Levi’s voice, standing up so suddenly that his chair toppled over backwards behind him.

“Levi?” He murmured. “Is it you?”

He sounded in disbelief, and Levi understood the feeling. But he nodded, a swell of emotion suddenly blossoming inside him, every bit of sadness and pain and longing that he’d felt when Erwin had died and throughout the past three decades ripping through him all at once when he looked at him again. He felt tears burning behind his eyes and he grimaced, knowing that everything was showing on his face but too overwhelmed to hide it.

“Levi-” Erwin said then, his own voice thick with emotion at the sight of Levi’s face. Whatever shock he’d felt upon seeing him seemed to evaporate then and he moved, practically bolting around his desk to rush toward him.

Levi moved too, stepping forward and reaching out as Erwin approached, experiencing a sudden, terrible fear that his hands would just go through him just like they had with Mikasa. But they didn’t, Erwin’s body was solid and firm when he ran into it hard and wrapped his arms around him, his shirt soft when he pressed his face into it. He was real and not just a memory anymore, right there in front of Levi, every inch of him that he could reach pressed against his chest.

“You bastard!” He found himself saying, clutching at him and digging his fingers into his clothes, trying and failing to choke back tears. “You bastard, you fucking bastard! Do you even know what happened?! Do you know how long its been? You died, you fucking-”

“I know, Levi.” Erwin said, squeezing him tightly with his arm. “I’m sorry, but you know I had to.”

Levi did know, of course, he had always known that Erwin would sacrifice himself in a heartbeat if it meant accomplishing his dreams. He had started on that path long before he’d met Levi, and Levi understood. He accepted it, knew that he would do the same too if it came to that, but that didn’t mean it was any less fucking painful when it actually happened. That didn’t mean he hadn’t had some kind of desire, some tiny shred of hope inside him that they both might live through everything and see the end of the titans together.

“Fuck you.” He muttered, his soft tone betraying his words.

“You’re here now, Levi. Its alright. You’re here, but...that means you’re, oh-” Erwin said, his voice becoming sad now. Now it was his turn to be emotional, and he bent so he could press his face into Levi’s neck, inhaling sharply and grabbing at his clothing, pulling him against his chest so hard that Levi was nearly drawn up onto his tiptoes. “Oh, I’m sorry, Levi. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. I’m not sorry. I’m dead, but now I’m here. I - I never thought I would see you again, Erwin.”

“What happened?” Erwin murmured, pulling away to look down at him. His blue eyes were red, rimmed with unshed tears like the ones that had already fallen down Levi’s face. Erwin wiped them away, his fingers gentle but his skin rough, every callus that scraped across Levi’s cheeks feeling exactly the way he had remembered.

“I got sick. Can you believe that shit? After everything, I died from some damn overgrown cold.”

Erwin smiled sadly, cupping his chin. “Well, that’s common when you get older. I guess even with all the unusual strength you had, you couldn’t stop yourself from aging.”

“What do you mean?” Levi said, suddenly realizing something with a frown. Erwin looked young to him, his hair still thick and blonde with no grays in sight, and barely any wrinkles on his handsome face. He looked exactly like he had when he’d died, but that was 30 years ago. Levi had aged, not terribly, he thought, but he didn’t look young anymore. “Do I look like an old man?”

“You don’t look a day over 35.” Erwin answered immediately, chuckling.

“Liar.” Levi scowled, knowing he wasn’t telling the truth.

It probably had something to do with the way Erwin was tracing the wrinkles on his face with his thumb, looking at him with fascination like he was relearning him all over again.

“Do you really think it matters?” Erwin said softly, warmth in his eyes.

Levi shook his head. He knew it didn’t, because if their positions had been reversed - if he had died first and Erwin had found him like this - he wouldn’t give a shit what Erwin looked like. All that mattered to him was that Erwin was here, that they were together again regardless of the circumstances, and it was obvious that Erwin felt the same way by how he was looking at him and the way he couldn’t keep his hand off of him.

He was the same, though, he hadn’t yet moved his hands and arms from around Erwin. He almost didn’t want to let go because then he might disappear, or he might turn out to not be real.

“I guess I can’t call you an old man anymore, though.” Levi said, earning another smile from Erwin.

He looked down at him and started to laugh, but then stopped suddenly, his eyes widening like he’d just had a thought. Before Levi could ask, Erwin bent to kiss him, pressing their lips together gingerly like he was testing to see if it was possible. It certainly was - Erwin’s mouth felt just as real and solid as the rest of him, and Levi responded so eagerly that he practically jumped into his arms.

He opened his mouth and leaned into him, throwing his arms around his neck to drag him closer. They kissed like they hadn’t seen each other in an entire lifetime, or at least 30 years, holding onto each other so tightly that it almost hurt. They kissed until their lips started to feel bruised and until they were gasping for breath, the sensation startling Levi because like the way his heart had started beating, it was the first time his lungs had acted that way since he’d woken up, despite running and walking for days.

The thought made him pull back, a curious look on his face that was matched by a similar one on Erwin’s. Apparently, he had realized the same thing, because he was rubbing his chest oddly.

“Its been a long time since I’ve felt that.” He said, frowning thoughtfully.

“What, your breath?”

“Yes, and my heart. Its beating so fast.”

“Oh. Me too.” Levi murmured, his face reddening as warmth grew in his chest. “What’s up with that shit?”

“I’m not sure. I have some theories about all of this, but...well, maybe we can talk about that later. I want to hear about the life you had, it’s been so long.”

“There’s not much to tell.”

“I don’t care. I want to know, Levi. Please tell me.”

Levi bit his lip, looking around. “Okay, sure. Can we sit down or something?”

“Yes. Why don’t we go up to the roof.”

Erwin’s face had lit up suddenly, like he’d thought of something, and Levi crossed his arms.

“The roof?”

Erwin nodded. “I always wanted to take you up there, but there wasn’t enough time while we stayed here. And there were always others around, too.”

Levi remained confused but said nothing else, letting Erwin lead him out of the room and up what seemed about a hundred more flights of stairs. He never lost his breath once, though, just like he hadn’t from running or walking, and he almost found it ironic that it was so easy.

“You know, Erwin, if I wasn’t dead, I don’t think I would be able to make it up here.” It was true - the aching in his joints, probably made worse by his years of 3DMG use prevented him from doing any extended physical activity.

"I think this is when I would call you an old man." Erwin teased from in front of Levi, earning a swat to his ass.

"Idiot." Levi said softly, just as they exited onto the roof.

As soon as he stepped out, he immediately saw why Erwin wanted to bring him up here. He'd never been during their short stay at the castle, not even to clean, so he didn't realize how high up it was. The sun had gone down by now and it was nighttime, and the light of the moon revealed a view that was nicer than he had expected. He could see far out into the distance, across a wide plain covered in a broken forest. Past that, he could see the twinkling lights from the closest village, and the entire sky was clear enough so that all the stars were visible.

"Not bad." He said after a moment, walking closer to the edge.

"I thought you would like it." Erwin murmured.

He'd come up behind him, placing his hand on Levi's shoulder and looking out over his head. After a moment he was unable to keep his hand still, and he started tracing his fingers up the back of his neck. It made Levi shiver, sensations lighting along his spine from Erwin’s touch, and he turned around to face him.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything." Erwin took his hand, pulling him over to a wall that they could sit down and lean against. "I want to know everything."

Levi made himself comfortable, pressing against Erwin's side as closely as he could, silent for a moment while he collected his thoughts. He started with what happened after Erwin died, leaving out the bits about his after death arrangements and things like that, because even though it was as if he had Erwin back, seeing him again had made all of that seem fresh. He told him about what they had done to get things back to normal after the titans were gone, the steps they'd taken to push humanity forward. He told him about what Hanji had done, about what he'd done at first too and then how he'd eventually settled down. He talked about his house and about Mikasa, and about their life together, picking out things he remembered that he thought Erwin might like, all up until he reached the end.

"I never fucked anyone else." Levi blurted when he'd finished, wanting Erwin to know that for some reason.

"I would've understood if you had. I never expected you not to do anything like that. The opportunity to live a full life, to live freely, that was all I would ever want for you.”

Levi looked at him, his heart quickening again. Erwin had never said things like this to him before, not when they were alive. They knew how each other felt, of course, and expressed love on more than one occasion, but when Levi thought about it, he realized Erwin was being more honest with him than he ever had been before. He knew why.  It was because he was dead, and he didn’t have his life in the Scouting Legion to hold him back from anything like this now.

“You’re too damn selfless for your own good, Erwin, and mine.” Levi said then, looking away, deciding if Erwin was going to be honest, than so was he. “It wasn’t worth it without you. All I fucking thought about was how unfair it was that you were dead while I was alive, and what might’ve happened if we’d both lived. Like I could replace you that easily. You were-”

Levi stopped, his fists clenching in his lap, frustration welling inside him like it always did when he talked about shit like this, because he couldn’t always find the right words to say and had to fight his embarrassment. He took a breath before continuing, forcing himself to ignore it. “You were the only person I ever cared about like that, anyway.”

“I know.” Erwin said immediately, reaching over with his left hand to take one of Levi’s, smiling sadly. “I just didn’t want you to be alone.”

“I wasn’t alone. I had Ackerman. But now she’s alone, and I feel like shit about it.”

“What about Armin?”

“Arlert? He explored a lot with Hanji and then married. It sounded like he moved on pretty well. I guess she could go live with him if she wanted to. I don’t know why she preferred living with an asshole like me over him anyway.”

“You were her family. What about Hanji? Is Hanji still alive?”

Levi almost laughed under his breath when he mentioned Hanji. “Who knows about four eyes. Lost outside the walls somewhere, I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

“They kept exploring with Moblit after shit calmed down. Leading smaller expeditions where no one had to fight. The last one I heard about was years ago.”

“And Nile?”

“He’s a grandfather to about 13 kids, that’s all I know.” Levi said, frowning before he thought of something and fixed Erwin with a look. “If you wanted to know, why didn’t you go look for him? Have you just been sitting in this fucking castle for 30 years?”

The thought that he had been, that he might have been alone here while apparently wondering whether Levi was or not, made his heart sink. If that was the case, then Levi had been much too hasty when he’d started complaining about his life without him.

“I left sometimes, of course. And I wasn’t always by myself. When I arrived, Auruo, Petra, and Erd were here. Mike and Nanaba were at one point, too, and a handful of other soldiers over the years. They’ve all since moved on, though.

“Moved on? What do you mean?”

“Moved on to whatever is after this, I suppose. To rest. It doesn’t seem like we have to be ghosts forever.”

Levi widened his eyes, glancing up at Erwin. He hadn’t even thought about any of that. Erwin had been like this for a long time, but all the years were still within a normal human’s lifespan. He hadn’t considered what might happen after that, that if he didn’t need to eat or sleep or anything, then he might just exist like this forever.

The thought was not a good one, if he was being honest. Like he’d thought about before right after he’d woken up like this, he hadn’t minded dying because he thought he was going to be able to rest. He hadn’t wanted to live without Erwin, and yes, he’d found him now, but what if he hadn’t?

“If we can do that then why didn’t you?” Levi asked, wondering if he would have even gotten this far if he’d known that was possible.

Erwin didn’t answer right away. He turned completely to stare down at him, looking him over with a soft look before he swallowed. 

“I was waiting on you.” He said quietly, squeezing Levi's hand.

Levi’s eyes went wide, a burning sensation beginning behind them that signalled he was about to cry again. He fought it back though, instead grabbing for Erwin, nearly launching himself against him so quickly that Erwin almost toppled over.

He wanted to tell him that was stupid and ridiculous, that he’d wasted all this time on him, existing almost only halfway for so long without him when he could’ve rested instead. Levi knew how empty his life had been, and if there had been some easy way out he knew he would’ve taken it. But Erwin hadn’t, he’d lived like this, probably more alone than Levi had been on the chance that he might get to see him just one more time.

He couldn’t say any of that though, of course. All he could do was wrap his arms around him, pressing his face into his chest and squeezing him as tightly as he could. Erwin caught him, hugging him too, pulling him closer and suddenly grabbing at his face frantically.

“Levi!” He gasped, pushing it up so he could bend to kiss him, their mouths meeting haphazardly.

He kept murmuring his name against Levi’s lips while they kissed, grabbing at each other just as desperately as they had been before. This time, though, they were both so overcome with everything that it was obvious neither one of them was going to stop. It didn’t take long before it turned heated, before Levi was running his hands through Erwin’s hair, half trying to climb into his lap and half trying to pull his clothes off.

“Can we?” He panted, breaking away suddenly to tug at Erwin’s shirt.

Erwin’s face was flushed, his eyes bright and his lips red as he looked at Levi. It was a sight that he hadn’t seen in years, one so appealing that Levi had to bite his own lip hard to keep himself from making a sound.

“Ah.” Erwin said, his brows drawing like he was trying to figure out how to phrase what he said next. “I can. What about-”

“I can still get it up, you ass.” Levi scowled, knowing what he was about to ask. “I might be old and look like shit, but my dick can still get hard.”

He grabbed Erwin’s hand while he spoke, pressing his palm against the growing erection in his pants.

“I would have been shocked if you’d lost that ability.” Erwin said, kissing him again, squeezing his crotch.

Levi grunted, speaking between the eager movements of their lips. “That wasn’t what I meant. I mean, can we even fuck?”

“We can do this, can’t we? I don’t see why we wouldn’t be able to do everything else.”

“That would be just my fucking luck…” Levi muttered, as Erwin laid him down, chuckling. He kissed at Levi’s neck for a moment, then sat up to remove his jacket and shirt.

“Shit.” Levi breathed when Erwin’s bare chest was revealed, his eyes widening.

Fuck, he hadn’t forgotten how attractive and built he’d been, of course, but his memories must have grown fuzzy, because now that he was looking at all of his defined muscles and smooth skin again it was almost like he was seeing him just for the first time. His eyes traveled downward, over his stomach and thighs, settling back onto the prominent bulge between his legs. He certainly hadn’t forgotten what that thing had looked like, and thinking about it nearly made his mouth water. However, as soon as Erwin moved again, running his hand up Levi’s leg to grab at the hem of his own shirt, he had another thought - one that made him suddenly feel self-conscious.

“Wait.” He said, grabbing Erwin’s wrist as soon as he started to pull the shirt up. He was suddenly flushing, his face hot with embarrassment as he stared at Erwin’s near perfect chest. He hadn’t exactly let himself go in his old age, but he certainly didn’t look anything like he had before. Compared to Erwin, he felt unappealing, and he was suddenly afraid that he would think so too.

“Wait?” Erwin looked down to where his hand was at Levi’s shirt, sliding his fingers underneath the fabric to brush across his stomach.

“Maybe we should go inside. Its darker.”

“Why?” Erwin asked, pushing his shirt up over his chest in one quick movement. Levi cursed at him, trying to shove it back down, but was stopped when Erwin grabbed his arm. “I told you it doesn’t matter, Levi.”

He bent then, dipping his head down to kiss at the skin of Levi’s stomach, letting go of his arm so Levi could wind his fingers in his hair. “You still look perfect to me.”

Levi only made a low whining sound in response, the want in his belly overriding any lingering embarrassment he felt. He let Erwin undress him then, closing his eyes while he looked him over, opening them wide a second later when he suddenly felt Erwin’s warm mouth on his cock. He sucked him off eagerly until Levi was writhing, and then lifted one of his legs over his shoulder so he could bury his face between his ass cheeks.

He licked at him there like he was making up for all the time they’d been apart, excitedly and vigorous with his tongue, and for so long that Levi’s entire body was humming with pleasure. His voice seemed loud in the quiet air when he moaned, but he knew no one could hear him so he didn’t care. When Erwin wrapped his hand around his cock he came almost instantly, his back arching while he shuddered and shook, calling Erwin’s name out harshly.

“Erwin!” He gasped again moments later, grabbing at him so they could kiss. He was beyond caring about where his face had been, and broke away only to breathe one more word. “Oil.”

“Downstairs.” Erwin said, as they both scrambled up together.

Levi didn’t even bother picking up his clothes, and they both practically raced down the stairs until they were in front of the door to Erwin’s bedroom. Erwin crowded him against it as Levi reached for the knob, pressing himself into Levi’s lower back and putting his hand over his so he could open the door. Levi stumbled inside, then turned to practically climb into Erwin’s waiting arm, wrapping his legs around him and kissing him while Erwin carried him the rest of the way to the bed.

When they fell onto it, Levi immediately spread his legs, shoving his fingers into his mouth so he could slip two inside himself. He was still wet from Erwin’s tongue, loose enough so that there was no discomfort, and he only removed them when Erwin had grabbed the oil and pulled the lid off with his teeth so he could slick up his own fingers.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this impatient.” Levi panted, biting his lip when Erwin abruptly pushed three fingers inside him.

“I’ve been thinking about this for 30 years.” Erwin said, stretching him as quickly as he dared, the roughness of it making Levi throw his head back and lift his hips off the bed.

“Just fucking put it in. Let me see your cock.” He groaned, looking back up at him.

It might have been the first time Erwin listened to him immediately, rather than spending many more minutes teasing him until he was practically begging. He pulled his fingers out and undid his pants, shoving them over his hips and ass until he was free. Levi licked his lips, holding back a moan when he saw it, frantically feeling around for the oil with his hand.

“I never thought I would see that again.” He said, fingers closing around the vial and sitting up on an elbow so he could wet Erwin’s cock with it.

It was thick, warm and hard inside his fist, the feel of it bringing back a thousand memories. It was just like he remembered, though, and he laid back down while Erwin laughed, letting go before he grabbed it again to guide it between his legs and ass cheeks.

“Fuck.” He exhaled sharply when Erwin pushed inside, his mouth falling open at the overwhelming sensation of Erwin filling him. “Fuck, Erwin, yes. Do it hard.”

Erwin obeyed again once he was fully inside him, thrusting slowly only a few times before he started rolling his hips forward as hard as he could. Levi didn’t hold back his cries of pleasure - the feeling of being fucked like this after so many years of nothing making him shake. He kept his eyes open so he could see Erwin’s face though, their eyes locking while he held onto his thigh and pounded into him.

“Don’t stop! Erwin!” Levi moaned, reaching up with one hand to grab Erwin’s ass, urging him to pound into him harder until the slick sound of their skin slapping together filled the room.

“Levi!” Erwin said his name back and didn’t stop, and it didn’t take much longer for him to come.

He fucked him at the same rough pace until his hips stuttered and he froze, burying himself as deeply inside Levi as he could with a harsh groan. He fell forward to press their lips together, their mouths meeting in a wet, messy kiss. After that he pulled out, replacing his cock with his fingers again, rubbing and pressing at Levi’s prostate until he whimpered through another strong orgasm.

Erwin lied down next to him after that and Levi curled up against his chest, both of them silent until they had caught their breath.

Even though he’d just come twice and done some of the most rousing physical activity that he had in years, Levi didn’t feel tired at all. He should be exhausted but he wasn’t, and he hadn’t felt even the slightest need to rest even after walking for days on end. He guessed it was just another part of being a ghost, and after lying next to Erwin for a moment, he looked up to find his eyes wide open too.

“Erwin?” He asked, thinking of something. “What if I hadn’t come here? Did you try to look for me at all?”

“I did. But it seems that we’re limited to the places that we visited while we were alive. I went everywhere I could think of inside the walls at first, but I never came across you. I wouldn’t have been able to touch you or talk to you, of course, but I just wanted to see you. After I heard people talking about new settlements outside the walls, I tried to look there, but I couldn’t make it.”

“What do you mean you couldn’t make it? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t either. I don’t know why, but I could only travel on the paths I had taken outside the walls before on expeditions. Every time I wandered off towards an area I’d never been, I had an overwhelming urge to go back. It got stronger the farther I went, until I couldn’t even make myself take another step. I’m guessing you didn’t try to go anywhere you hadn’t been after you died?”

Erwin sat up while he was explaining, his eyes bright again and clearly eager to share this information with someone. Levi had adjusted with him, resting against his chest, and glanced up to find Erwin looking down at him, like he was expecting him to find this interesting.

“No. I came straight to the walls. But what if I hadn’t thought to come here? What if I never did, were you just going to stay here forever, waiting?” Levi frowned, finding the thought of Erwin being alone here for even longer than he already had been, waiting on someone who would never come, horribly heartbreaking.

“I don’t know. I suppose eventually, once I knew you couldn’t possibly still be alive, I would try to look for you again. Your ghost, I mean. But if I still couldn’t find you...I don’t know. I didn’t think about it much, really. For some reason, I had a feeling you would come.”

“If? You mean this shit doesn’t happen to everyone?”

“It doesn’t seem to. If it did, I think there would be a lot more ghosts around.”

“Well why the fuck did it happen to us then?”

Erwin ran a hand through his hair before speaking, his voice going quiet. “I believe it has something to do with people who have left someone behind.”

“But don’t most people leave someone behind when they die?” Levi asked with a frown, reaching for Erwin’s hand with his own.

“Yes, but it was more like those who died early or didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. It’s because of who I saw: Petra and Auruo, Erd, Mike and Nanaba, and other soldiers who had been married or had a deep connection with another person.”

“I knew about Erd’s engagement, but the others? They were fucking?”

Erwin chuckled, reaching to brush his fingers across Levi’s cheek. “I don’t think Petra and Auruo were. I don’t think they even knew they loved each other until they met again like this. They were already here when I arrived, and moved on not long after. Erd moved on when he found out his fiancé had married someone else. Its as if we’re given another chance like this, to see the person we loved one last time before we rest for good, but of course it doesn’t always work out.”

“What about Mike and Nanaba?” Levi asked, wondering about his friends.

“Mike came here after me. I suppose he was looking for Nanaba, but he didn’t find her. Eventually she came here, though, and that was that. The others were similar.”

Levi was quiet for a long moment, thinking about everything Erwin had just told him while he lied against him, soaking in his warmth and presence.

“I guess you’ve figured all this out, then?” He murmured, not at all surprised Erwin had so many theories about this. It was just like him to spend all his time researching and studying something he didn’t understand, and with not much else to do, Levi honestly expected him to have it all figured out. “Is that all you did while you were here, try to figure out why you were a ghost?”

“No, not all. I also kept up with the cleaning. I thought you would find that nice when you came back. Give me some credit, Levi. Did you not notice?”

“Tch. No. What the fuck were you cleaning with, a dirty mop? A 30 year old broom? The entranceway still looked like shit.”

“You’re already complaining? Its only been a few hours, Levi.”

“Shut up.” Levi said in response to his teasing, shoving him over onto his side.

Erwin smiled, pulling him down with him, and suddenly they were kissing again, much slower and lazier than they had before. Levi sighed into it, content where he was right now, still amazed that he was in Erwin’s presence again. He didn’t want it to end though, despite what Erwin had told him about moving on, so he pulled away and bit at his lip anxiously.

“When do we do the thing?” He asked, hoping that it didn’t have to be soon. From the way Erwin had talked about it, it sounded like they could choose when, and if so, he didn’t see why there had to be a rush.

“Whenever we’re both ready.” Erwin said gently, looking up at him with a soft smile on his face.

Levi nodded, relieved, and went back to kissing Erwin. They spent the whole rest of the night and most of the next day in bed, making up for all of the time they’d lost. At his age, Levi’s cock was more like a one trick pony in that sure, he could get it up, but it was a long time after that before he could get fully hard again. Fortunately, he didn’t need a hard dick for Erwin to fuck him, or to have an orgasm, apparently, because Erwin knew just how to hammer his prostate to get him to come over and over again until he was a quivering mess.

With nothing to do after that, really, they settled into a comfortable routine. Levi cleaned the entire castle every day, even taking care of the outside, while Erwin read or wrote. Sometimes they played chess or took walks to explore the area, with Erwin eagerly telling him about the sights he had discovered while he’d been waiting. At night they had sex or spent their time lying together, talking and just enjoying each other’s company.

At first, Levi thought that he might want to stay like this for years, but it ended up being only one before he began to think about moving on. It wasn’t that he was bored, or sick of Erwin or anything, he was just so tired. Not physically, but mentally. He had lived a long life, as much of a full one as he could have hoped for, and he had lived what felt like another lifetime as a ghost already. That part was probably because of the fact that he didn’t have to sleep or eat, but whatever it was, he began to feel more and more like he was ready everyday.

He wondered if Erwin felt the same way, but he wasn’t sure how to bring the subject up. He had enjoyed the time they’d spent together like this, grateful that they’d gotten to be free and with each other for at least a little while after all, and he didn’t want Erwin to think that it was because of him. A few weeks later, though, Erwin caught Levi staring out of a window, holding a broom to his chest. He came up behind him, startling him, and Levi realized he had no idea how long he’d been standing there.

“Erwin.” He murmured after a moment of silence, suddenly feeling so exhausted he could barely stand up. “When do you think you’ll be ready?”

“I’m ready whenever you are, Levi.” Erwin answered reassuringly, wrapping his arm around Levi’s front and kissing the top of his head.

“Are you tired?”

“Yes, terribly. I think I could actually go to sleep for once. Let’s go lie down.”

Levi dropped his broom, barely noticing it, and followed Erwin to his bed. They climbed onto it together and lay down facing each other, Erwin’s hand coming up to grasp one of Levi’s. He yawned, an action that made Levi’s brows draw in confusion. Had he ever seen Erwin do that before? They were ghosts, they weren’t supposed to be able to get sleepy like this, right? Strangely, Levi found that he couldn’t answer his own question, blinking slowly and suddenly feeling incredibly drowsy, like he could drift off to sleep at any moment.

“Levi.” Erwin murmured, catching his attention and giving him a weak smile. “I’m glad you came back.”

Levi nodded, humming. “Me too, Erwin.”

“I love you.” Erwin responded immediately, kissing him once and leaving their foreheads resting together.

Levi’s eyelids felt so heavy that he could barely keep them open, but he forced himself to look into Erwin’s eyes, reaching up to place a hand on his cheek. “I love you too, old man.”

Erwin smiled at him one more time, a brilliant one that caused his lips to curve beautifully and that lit up his entire face. Levi sighed, rubbing at his cheek, before letting go and wrapping it around him when Erwin closed his eyes. He shifted to press his face into Erwin’s chest, closing his own when Erwin pulled him tight against him into his embrace. Vaguely, Levi realized he could hear Erwin’s heartbeat. It was strong and steady, a comforting presence that made him relax, a reminder that Erwin was there, that he’d found him again and he hadn’t ended up alone. It was the last thing he heard before he fell asleep, wrapped up in Erwin’s warmth and drifting off into nothingness.

 

 


End file.
